What do you do?

I met a neighbour the other day.  She lives behind us off to the right and has two little kids.   Her kids were playing in the woods that separate the houses - no fences in this part of the world - and my kids were playing outside while I did some yard work.   My kids went over to investigate the strange sound of children in our neighbourhood and met them.   When her kids wanted to come over and see our stuff as kids do she came along.   Her kids are 5 and 3 so naturally she didn't send them off into the woods with strange children.    After we'd introduced ourselves she said "What do you do?"   It's a great question.   It's a common question that usually helps to lead a conversation.    The problem was that I had to come up with an answer. 

A month ago I would have said I was a real estate agent but I finally realized that I'm not cut out for that type of work and put it on the pile of failed careers that I keep in the basement.  I could have said I'm a corporate trainer but the training work has dried up for the moment and I don't have a project going on with them.  So I was left with this "I'm a substitute paraprofessional"   (a paraprofessional is a teaching assistant in NYS)

A substitute paraprofessional.   I'm not even a real paraprofessional.  I'm a substitute paraprofessional. 

It's curious the way who we are is so tied to what we do.   I mean, I guess I'm still primarily a stay at home mother.  The majority of my time is spent caring for my family and home with no pay so I guess that's still who I am.  It's just that they're big now and I have this desire to be something else - and a salary would be a welcome addition to our lives - and I guess I'm kind of vain in that I think it should be something with a title.   Substitute paraprofessional is a title, I suppose.  

I told myself...hell, I told everyone...that staying home with the kids (through no fault of my own) wasn't going to affect my ability to walk back into the job market when I got my green card or when they were big enough to not need full time childcare.    Of course it isn't even the hole in my resume that keeps me from stepping into a full time career but the side of the border I'm on.   I believe that if we had stayed in Canada I would be able to walk back into a full time teaching job with a good salary and a pension and benefits.    In NYS I'm left jumping through hoops - 3 exams, several workshops and now at least a year of university to take courses that I didn't have to take in Ontario....followed by having to get a master's if (IF!) I can even get a teaching job.    It is a major pain in the arse.  

But for now, I have that substitute paraprofessional work to fall back on.  

Maybe it's snobby to think I want something more.  That I want a career with a better (or at least shorter) title.  

Comments

[Barb]

Your situation in NY state frustrates me to no end. It's hard not to equate your title to self-worth... it's a trap we've all fallen into, even those of us with titles. We are always on the lookout for the next (bigger, better) title. It sucks that we do this to ourselves.

I did some soul-searching last week, and I decided that there are certain things in life that I value more than a big title or the salary that comes with it. I want to be part of my children's lives, while they'll still have me.

I've said it before... you're an all-round awesome and amazing person, Miss K. Don't let anyone make you doubt that for even just one moment.

xo Barb